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Joke of the Day

"Stop Flaming Faggots! A Non profit dedicated to informing the public about the fire dangers of bundled sticks and stacked firewood."

"What is the world's leading cause of hearing loss? Religion."

"Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing."

"What do you call an emo vegetable? A despair-agus"

"I wonder... ...how many people will read this in the bathroom."

"We all know by now that when someone says, ""I'm sorry, I never got that text,"" they ABSOLUTELY got that text, right?"

"I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons."

"I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings."

"I have been trying to find a new hobby So lately i have been drag racing. I win most of the time, it's hard for them to outrun me in heels"

"Why did the accountant go crazy? He started to hear invoices in his head."