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Joke of the Day

"What is the world's leading cause of hearing loss? Religion."

"A couple orders a pie at a luxury restaurant The husband eats 4/7 of the pie and the wife the rest. He paid 4.5$ more than her. How much did the pie cost? Answer in comments"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile ""That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old"", I told her."

"....Hey...uh...hey. Reddit. Yeah, you Reddit.....what do ducks eat? **QUACKERS** **LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL--STARTS CHOKING ON OWN HUMOR--**"

"Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? (Lionel Richie, speed dating)"

"What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."""

"My friends started a new bar band... Drums, guitars, keyboard and bass guitar. They call themselves 999 Megabytes cuz they don't have a Gig yet."

"What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order."

"Kim on FB needs help deciding if the snot in her kid's nose is from allergies or not. His Dr. says yes, but she really needs your opinion."

"I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers... But there's no pun in ten dead."