79695

Joke of the Day

"Mickey Mantle knew 2 things. Drinking, and how to play drunk baseball."

"just so you know the guacamole costs an extra $1.80 plus one of your arms and the soul of your first born child thanks for choosing chipotle"

"I like my women like I like my bananas. Cold and covered in bruises."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the building on the other side"

"Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar? 1. Because he was sheet faced. 1. Because he couldn't hold his boos. EDIT: Formatting."

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches"

"How do pirates know they are pirates? They think therefore they arrr"

"Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. (Submitted at the request of my 10 year-old son.)"

"A coworker just asked if I had any ""mouth water"" and I am thoroughly confused by this"