41225

Joke of the Day

"I've got a bad joke for you. It went to jail for the things it did..."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"My favorite exercise is a mix between a lunge and a crunch. I call it Lunch"

"DATING TIP: Play hard to get. Train to be an astronaut. Fly into space and leave Earth behind. Then text your crush and be like ""what's up?"""

"I wouldn't mind being catcalled if it were useful: ""Hey baby, boot sale at Macy's!"" or, ""Line's shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!"""

"My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit."

"What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Cook-a-doodle-do!"

"What was the pig doing in the kitchen? Bacon! Get it?"

"Why do Norwegians drive Chevys? They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord."

"Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the raven that brings bad babies... And the swallow that brings no babies."