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Joke of the Day

"I farted today on the bus... I farted today on the bus and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice."

"Someone recently broke in to my nan's flat and stole her precious limbo trophy... How low can you get?"

"Invention a German engineer has just invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat. You should invest in this because prophets are going through the roof!"

"The secret to making a truly tasty vegan burger is to use beef."

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"I broke up with my girlfriend because she was spending too much time playing computer games. Her Minesweeper addiction was a big red flag."

"April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"I can be up bright or early. Pick one."

"How did Popeye keep his tool clean? NSFW He dipped it in Olive Oyl"

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never had a lima bean on my face."