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Joke of the Day
"Steps to success 1:speak with God 2:??? 3:prophet"
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"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""
"Three men walk into a bar They all get concussion"
"I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*"
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, feminists can't change anything."
"Did you hear about the new Fiber One bars? Apparently nobody gives a shit."
"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*"
"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Jewish women will leap at anything 15% off."
"How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head."
"Why does Jesus eat at Benihana? Because he loves miso!"