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Joke of the Day
"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""
Next Joke
"Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's ""sexy"" and ""art"" But when I do it I'm ""drunk"" and need to ""get out of Home Depot"""
"Pasta Diet 1.. You walk pasta bakery. 2.. You walk pasta candy store. 3.. You walk pasta Ice Cream shop. 4.. You walk pasta fridge."
"My wife wanted to have sex in the back of the car..... So I got stuck driving her and her boyfriend around all night."
"Save the whales Collect the whole set. seen on a bumper sticker in PDX"
"If someone asked me to choose my favorite body part... I'd pick my nose."
"I used to have Osama Bin Laden as a contact. I removed him because he was blowing up my phone. Oh god this that was so shitty."
"Small girl: I'd buy that dog but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why all four of them touch the floor."
"Why do people go into technical jobs? Because they suck at communicating so hard, they'd rather fuck a computer"
"The Samsung Galaxy S6... The Samsung Galaxy S6 has a worse memory loss than your grandmother's Alzheimer [First joke, go easy, pretty please?]"