112277

Joke of the Day

"How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head."

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't need to, they glow in the dark..."

"Why are Redditors naturally great at swordfighting? They practice riposting all the time."

"With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing. They're calling it the ounce, now."

"If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail."

"I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled ""paedophile!"" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"I love people who don't take their sweet time pooping in a public bathroom. They take their shit seriously"

"How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him *I'll see myself out*"

"Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving? It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China."

"What kind of meat does a priest eat on Fridays? Nun."