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Joke of the Day

"I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*"

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers. But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back."

"What do you get when you cross a slaughterhouse worker and a bad comedian? A bunch of butchered jokes"

"Where do poor noodles live? In the spaghetto"

"He drank the entire bottle of olive oil? Olive it."

"Don't argui with r/jokes... There's too many ri-postes."

"Yo momma so fat, the closer you get to her, the slower time passes for you in relation to an observer outside her gravitational pull."

"Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well."

"[At vet] Me: My dog has been throwing up what looks like egg shells. Vet: What have you been feeding him? Me: Egg shells."

"After the delicious brownies have all been consumed following my funeral, a video of me will inform everyone that they just ate my ashes."