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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the emo pizza? He topped himself."

"What can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with? A chair, a toothbrush, and a spoon."

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella"

"Pranking the police A couple of pranksters broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, ""We have absolutely nothing to go on."""

"No matter what meal it is, always say you had ""brunch"" so people know how much better than them you are."

"Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures? In a photo albumen..."

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those ""Eat right and exercise"" scams."

"What do you call a fat kid with red hair and a eye patch? Names"

"All the sex I've ever had in my life... has been an inside job."