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Joke of the Day

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those ""Eat right and exercise"" scams."

"My sex party was a big disappointment... Nobody came."

"Why did the snowman smile? He heard that the snow-blower was in town."

"Confucius say, man who fart in church. Sit in own pew."

"I used to sanitize my son's bottles and Lysol his toys. Then I caught him chewing on the dog's tail."

"Say what you want about my sex life... I'm not having it."

"Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching..."

"You should never trust a Scottish tailor. It'll get you kilt."

"Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?"

"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."