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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, is that a gun in my pocket? Get in the van."

"So I walked into a pub with some of the lads... Oh wait hang on I don't have a social life."

"The past, the present and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"I'm hosting a support group for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know"

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it."

"I just want to be as happy as a character in the first half hour of a horror movie"

"What did Jesus become after they nailed him to the cross? Holey."

"Tired of my wife saying I have no feelings. Do I not cry if you turn off Football? Do I not pout when I can't find good porn? I have layers."

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to ""knock"" the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl... but then they realized that was queer."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field."