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Joke of the Day

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to ""knock"" the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl... but then they realized that was queer."

"I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs."

"What do you call a Mexican Jedi? Obi-Juan"

"When's the worst time to eat candy? When she's on her period."

"Ahhh, Christmastime... Is my favorite time of year. It's the only time of the year that my wife isn't griping at me to take down the Christmas lights."

"It's funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second."

"What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them."

"We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood."

"Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm the fcuk down!-Santa"

"What do businessmen and pedophiles have in common? They're both uptight cunts."