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Joke of the Day

"What has seven arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"I'm here to make a monthly joke April Fools."

"The best part about having a homeless girlfriend? After the date, you can just drop her off anywhere."

"Why does Oregon Ducks need such big suitcases? Because they Pac-12 of everything"

"Unix is so disorganized There's a cat in the man pages."

"What do you call a grandma without teeth giving you a blowjob? No denture adventure."

"What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em eat 'em!"

"Baby you were beautiful Until your Photoshop 30 days trial expired"

"A white officer pulls over a black man for speeding. The cop tells him to mind how fast he's going, lets him off with a warning, and tells him to have a good day."

"[At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay."