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Joke of the Day

"The Chinese New Year is almost here. I know they're in another time zone, but 2 months behind seems a little extreme."

"What do books wear on a rainy day? Rain Quotes"

"dear teenage me, it's the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don't kill yourself it's actually pretty fun"

"The writers for The Office have drifted out of touch with modern office life. Nobody is employed anymore."

"Why do Lannisters have such big beds? GoT because they push twins together to make a king."

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."

"""FINISH HIM,"" I scream, as Nana takes the last bite of her gingerbread man."

"A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a farmer, his daughter, a horse, a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy all walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this? A joke?"""

"What happens to sex bombs later in life? They become box-office bombs"

"What are you doing tonight? Your wife."