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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb? It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word ""screw"" is."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... It could happen."

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Quick question: can I breastfeed if I've had implants?"

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."

"What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra? Tuskanini."

"Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road? It got stuck in a crack."

"i got you a candy necklace for a present but then something happened so i got you this string instead"

"Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*"

"What do you call a grandma without teeth giving you a blowjob? No denture adventure."