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Joke of the Day

"Cup of Tea According to Tetley, the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap her arse and say ""two sugars fatty""."

"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""

"Depresso; the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee."

"I want to make an alligator joke... But I'm afraid I'll get carried away."

"I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it."

"I want a romantic comedy trailer that starts, ""Ben was looking for love in all the wrong places,"" and then shows Ben digging up a grave."

"I ap-p-p-p-lied for a j-job as a r-r-r-radio an-n-nouncer. Sh-sh-shame on them, rej-jecting me because I'm b-b-b-black."

"What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire. An ash hoe."

"I really want to meet this Hardon Collider. Is he a new pornstar?"

"If the person next to you on a flight wont stop talking, take out a Skymall catalog & eat the entire thing while never breaking eye contact."