118314

Joke of the Day

"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""

"Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they're full."

"I asked my friend with an extra chromosome if he wanted to hang out... He said he was down"

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

"I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'"

"Throw away the outside, cook the inside. Eat the outside, throw away the inside. What is it? [riddle] Cut on red needles, only nine trees heave empty crackers on bulls. [best of luck]"

"Why can't an Asian couple have a white child? Because two Wongs don't make a white."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"A hot dog walks into a bar The bartender says, ""We don't serve sandwiches here."" The hot dog says, ""That's ok. I came for the roast beef."""

"Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere."