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Joke of the Day

"Why does an elephant have four feet? Because it'd look bloody stupid with six inches."

"I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum."

"""i cnat believe this!"" he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. ""i would expect this from the others but not u"" he says to 1 specific bee"

"4 former presidents walk into a bar Clinton gets a new STD"

"I'd rather have a crying baby on my flight than a white dude who just did a trip to thailand and cant stop talking about it"

"What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD? Anti-biotics"

"Teacher to Student...? Conjugate the verb ""to walk"" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk .... The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run ..."

"G: Grandma (completely safe watch with grandma) PG: Partial Grandma (slightly awkward) PG13: 13 or more cusses (very awkward) R: NO grandmas"

"""They say children learn by example, even for potty training."" -I explain to my horrified neighbor as my son and dog poop on the lawn"

"My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food."