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Joke of the Day

"Due to those 5 extra minutes of sleep I got because of the snooze button I'm not even tired anymore Said no one ever!"

"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass!"

"the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person"

"A new study has proven... A new study has proven that people who have more birthdays live longer."

"HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you"

"What do you call a legend of Zelda fan theory? Head Ganon"

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank... First one says: I'll drive! Second one says: ""I'll man the guns!"""

"I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no. He just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair."

"Why did the geologist's wife leave him? He took her for granite."

"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."