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Joke of the Day

"A roger you say? My hot Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I'd dropped my pants and got my cock out that I realised she meant someone to rent her spare room."

"What's the difference between a theatre-snack muncher and a person who watches police sex scenes? One likes popcorn, the other likes cop-porn."

"I sweat less when I wear sunglasses ... Because I feel cooler"

"If I were any more pissy I could pass for a public pool."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."

"A guy walks into a bar and orders ten shots... Poor guy, he was filled with bullets in the end of the day."

"Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid? He's back in town and wants your number."

"What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!"

"DAD: I want a steak. HER: Eat this chicken instead. It's healthy. DAD: No it isn't. It's dead."

"Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend. Me: Your dog is a good judge of character."