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Joke of the Day

"German girlfriend My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"What do dark jokes and food have in common? Not everyone gets them"

"I'm not high! - high people I'm not drunk! - drunk people I'm not lying! - lying people I'm not gay! - my brother"

"Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday? Because he has a high opinion of himself"

"What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"A new BBC documentary accuses Hitler of millions of dollars worth of tax evasion. Man, the more I learn about this guy, the less I like him!"

"I farted in an Apple Store today and got thrown out because of it Not my fault they don't have Windows"

"I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her Instead I just swam up to the surface"

"My friends all say I'm extremely condescending... ...that means I talk down to people."

"My daughter asked me what ""fap fap fap"" means... I think I should stop commenting on her Facebook pictures."