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Joke of the Day

"I'm not high! - high people I'm not drunk! - drunk people I'm not lying! - lying people I'm not gay! - my brother"

"Common sense Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes"

"[standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. ""That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."""

"There are thirty cows and twenty eight chickens. How many didn't? Ten of them."

"Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle."

"Starbucks Employees at Starbucks hate me...probably because I never buy anything when I go there just to take a dump."

"What's a woman ideal husband? An archaeologist. The older she gets the more interested he becomes."

"What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind? Fa Ting"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One of them turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there"""

"Q: Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!"