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Joke of the Day

"If you start a sentence with ""Let me reiterate..."" I'm gonna ignore it the second time too."

"The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji..."

"Forget ""once you go black you never go back"" I say ""For that special occasion go caucasian"""

"My friend had all of his guitars stolen, and he's real sad about it. Can't even play the blues anymore."

"What's long, hard, and makes my ass hurt? The forty mile bike ride I finished."

"I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself"

"What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors."

"Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read ""BEAR LEFT"" so they went home."

"I like to tickle my girlfriend when we have anal sex Just for shits and giggles"

"I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident. Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute. After all, that's what they would've wanted."