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Joke of the Day

"The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji..."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"So what happens if I neglect to ""safely"" remove the USB from the OH DEAR GOD THE BLOOD."

"whats a pimps favorite cereal? cheeryhoes"

"Have you guys ever heard of the restaurant Five Guys? Because your girlfriend always like to go there for ""burgers."""

"I was shocked when they said I should spend a month's income on an engagement ring, but dammit girl, you're WORTH 900 favs."

"What did the sick waiter say when his manager asked him if he could come into work? I can't wait."

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"Northern women have PMS Gals from the south have FTS. Fixin' to Start"

"Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens? Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh? Eh?"