154260

Joke of the Day

"My friend had all of his guitars stolen, and he's real sad about it. Can't even play the blues anymore."

"People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses."

"Is that a tuna roll in your pocket, or are you just happy sashimi yuk yuk yuk"

"What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray? They are just OFF-full"

"Procrastination is just like Masturbation It's fun while you're doing it until you realize all you did was fuck yourself."

"""Nobody knows my suffering."" - Everybody"

"*is at the movies with hot date* *does fake yawn to put arm around her* *yawns too hard and inhales a child from the row in front* *dies*"

"Saw a bumper sticker with a gun and ""I don't call 911!"" Jesus. I hope his wife doesn't fall down the stairs. ""Sorry darlin'."" -*BLAM BLAM*"

"I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn't locate the manual."

"I prepared the chicken earlier. I said, ""Listen, there's no easy way to say this..."""