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Joke of the Day

"Why do Asians have such small tits? Because they can only get As."

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."

"Rap is 75% Crap."

"The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off."

"My wife told me she accidentally swapped the KY Jelly and the window putty No wonder the windows kept falling out!"

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... ...but when she lost her virginity, it wasn't so much a case of deflowering as deforestation."

"8 teens in the the garage. I hear the miter saw and drill going. I'm just going to sit back and let Darwin take care of things in there."

"I saw a sign today that said ""tailor-made sandwiches"" What the hell does a tailor know about making sandwiches?"

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A violin has strings. A fiddle has straaangs."

"[Date] Me: tell me about yourself Her: I'm really vegan Me: oh no Her: and I have a kid Me: oh no Her: his name is Kale Me: ohhh noo"