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Joke of the Day

"What is the greatest intermolecular force of all time? Dipole, dipole, dipole, dipole, and dipole!"

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted"

"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"

"[Crime scene] Detective: the victim was high af when he died.. you could say it was *takes off sunglasses* D: blunt force trauma"

"SMS from my girl: If ur sleeping, send me ur dreams; if ur laughing, send me ur smile; if ur crying, send me ur tears. Response: Honey I'm shitting, should I send you something?"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? ...I can't jelly my dick up your ass (courtesy of my younger brother, lol)"

"I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it."

"Skinny Girl... What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"A dad ask his kid, why do we go to school... we dont learn anything important anyways he hold him, ""Dont be silly. Of course they do... look at how good i am with a gun"""

"Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my Facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave."