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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my Facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave."

"It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed but when they cry the tears run down their back!"

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around. "

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"Two Scottish ducks on a tandem... The one on the back says ""Quack!"" The one on the front says "" Ah cannae go any quacker"""

"Are you the date? Because you're 10/10"

"Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles? The Betty Ford Clinic"

"What's the best thing about having sex with Twenty Five year olds? There's 20 of them."