177757

Joke of the Day

"Stonewall Jackson was usually in charge of confederate forces during the Civil War. Well General Lee i mean."

"Why did the duck go to the basketball game? He heard the ref was blowing fouls!"

"If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too"

"""Ok. Breathe. Retrace your steps. You went to the beach, carried that dude, stopped for Quizno's, got your hair cut..."" -God loses his keys"

"Why does the new French navy have glass bottom ships? So they can see the old French navy."

"As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, ""This may be the worst prize ever."""

"If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, ""I'll cut you."""

"Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand? San Diego (thought of this myself, it's better spoken)"

"How are you supposed to be politically correct... How are you supposed to be politically correct and still have a gender reveal party?"

"Metro don't trust trump. Future gon' shoot him."