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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm... He tells the bartender ""let me have a drink...and one for the road."""

"how to tell.... do you know how to tell if your room mate is gay? his dick taste like shit"

"How do you know when spring is here? the Leafs are out!"

"do you have any idea how fast you were going? ""no, I'm not wearing my contacts"""

"My dental hygienist retired after working 55 years... All she got was a lousy plaque..."

"What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"Why are girls bad at maths? They can't even."

"Why doesn't Ann Coulter have children? You can't make babies by fucking an asshole."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"what's green and floats? a leaf"