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Joke of the Day

"A german asks his friend for the time So a german asks his friend ""Do you know what time it is?"" ""Nein"" ""really? I could've sworn it was 8"""

"It says right on the redbull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last."

"Q: Two Pretzels were walking down the street. A: One was assaulted."

"I logged into MySpace for the first time since 2005. It was full of private messages from women who wanted to ""Blockbuster and Chill""."

"Anytime someone over reacts about a joke Hey, it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard."

"What did one cell say to its sister cell when she stepped on him? ""Mitosis !"""

"Pink Panther was looking for his friend's apartment. He drives into a street and suddenly drives out. It was a Dead-end. Dead-end. Dead-end dead-end dead-end dead-end dead-ennnnd..."

"Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS."

"Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,"

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons."