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Joke of the Day

"I logged into MySpace for the first time since 2005. It was full of private messages from women who wanted to ""Blockbuster and Chill""."

"Finally decided on my thesis paper. It's a LOTR themed essay in defense of Sauron Titled ""Getting away with Mordor"""

"Possessio is nine tenths of the word. [Source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ej8EaLF382c)"

"Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is. I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky."

"Choose your facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing."

"I sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine a world with no poverty and also that my hand is a woman."

"Remember when you were a kid and you used to run through the sprinklers at your uncle's farm and he'd dry you off with his strong arms?"

"Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea."

"I too like my women the same way as I like my coffee... Constantly berating me making me wish I was dead."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because there is a fucking dead horse inside of it."