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Joke of the Day

"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."

"Him: Damn, girl, are you a math textbook? Her: No, why? Him: 'Cause you have a lot of fuckin' problems."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"Do they make a scale that says things like ""Those shorts probably weigh, what, like 15 pounds?"""

"What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4."

"Why was the bicycle laying on the ground? Because it was two-tired"

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."

"A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard"

"What do a condom and a fighter jet have in common? A cockpit."

"Did you hear about the sexually promiscuous deaf person? Turns out he got hearing aids."