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Joke of the Day

"ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic. RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air ME: HOLY SHIT"

"Would you like to hear a Helen Keller joke? So would she."

"What is worse than a whale with a sore tooth? Going to kiss your grandmother goodnight and she slips you the tongue."

"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."

"7 dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy. So ......happy got out"

"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"

"$2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears."

"What did the cow say to the hay? I chews you"

"Mubarak would like everyone to know he's now available to oppress people at weddings and birthday parties."

"Had to stop watching Game of Thrones with my parents tonight, because of all the sex. So I've recorded it to watch after they've finished."