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Joke of the Day

"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"

"Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high"

"Why do women prefer 77 more than 69? Because they get 8 (ate) more. Repurposed from a /u/sciomancy6 comment."

"What part of a chicken is a musical instrument? The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)"

"What do you call two Filipino pilots? A pair of pliers"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it would be R, but they really love the C."

"Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court The judge said to Mickey, ""You say here that your wife is crazy."" Mickey replied, ""I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."""

"A key difference between keeping a cat & chimp as a pet, is a cat will eat your face off when you die. But chimps lack that kind of patience"

"What do you call a lazy fan of the old Price is Right? a Barker Lounger !"

"Hey, Johns, your parents thought about your name for about half a second."