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Joke of the Day

"""My fellow Americans-"" Barack ""we are working tirelessly-"" Sir ""to make sure-"" Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset"

"I told my math teacher I was freezing cold and he told me to go stand in the corner of the classroom. Because it was 90 degrees."

"I bet we can get into some serious Treble together."

"What does a drama student do while stuck in Math class? she cos(plays)"

"I'll never forget the first piece of advice my parents gave me when I was young:""Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot...""It got me far"

"There are 3 types of people in this world People who can't count and people who can."

"Sex in a cornfield Is sex in a cornfield called porn on a cob?"

"Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common? A. They both look out their caves and see rubble."

"WIFE: OMG how did grandma's ashes get knocked off the mantel? ME: Actually I think it was- *cat makes throat slice gesture* -the wind"

"A drug addict and a nun So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, ""Sister, you have a bad habit."""