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Joke of the Day

"A drug addict and a nun So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, ""Sister, you have a bad habit."""

"A shout out to all of the beautiful women who don't need to dress trashy to attract a man..... But party at my place for all those who do"

"""As seen on tv"": Get two pieces of crap that don't work for the price of one."

"A man is getting head from his wife... ...and tells her that he wants to cum in her ear. ""I'll go deaf!"" she says. ""Yeah? Well I always cum in your mouth, but you never shut the fuck up!"""

"Thank you, iPhone predictive text, for sending my mother a message that said ""WOOOOFUCKYEAH!"" There's no joke here except I'm 30 & grounded."

"Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings? Cave-FC"

"Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary? He ran out of patients."

"My friend told me that my herb garden looks like a mullet. I keep the basil in the front and the parsley in the back."

"If I could fly, I know who I'd shit on first."

"Ladies I'll drive you crazy with my tongue *Never shuts the hell up*"