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Joke of the Day

"A drug addict and a nun So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, ""Sister, you have a bad habit."""

"Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon."

"This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message."

"I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce."

"I lie in the bath for hours. But I try to tell the truth the rest of the time."

"What do you call an Asian gangster wearing a blue bandana? A rice crippy."

"Did you know the Mods on this sub are actually cows? Evidence listed below. [remooved]"

"My friend told me he has developed a lung disease... I told him to explain it to me asbestos he can."

"What's the difference between feminists and a pencil? A pencil has a point."