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Joke of the Day

"There are 3 types of people in this world People who can't count and people who can."

"I say this to girls at the bar, gets tons of laughs everytime. ""So, what's your number?"""

"I found a chocolate bar down the side of the sofa but I didn't celebrate because it was my old club."

"Why is your room like the Middle East? Because your bed is practically Iraq! *Hey, this subrettit has to have a few corny jokes right?!*"

"The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble. You put it into your shoe. It makes you limp."

"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""

"What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! ""Oh no!"" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa"

"I guess it's time to lose some weight. I cut myself shaving and gravy came out..."

"Just met a nerdy spider. He's a web designer"

"Owls are just nocturnal pug birds"