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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer Bartender replies ""For you, no charge""."

"[on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya"

"Witnessed the birth of my cousin's first child... She said we should've used a condom"

"It's my dream to take a stretch limo to a drive thru, pay at the first window & pick up my food at the second window without moving my car."

"A little girl asks her mom, ""Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?"" Her mom replies, ""Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."""

"Confession: I masturbate. Damn, that felt good."

"I had a dream last night that I was a muffler Boy, did I wake up exhausted!"

"Our family summer boat trips haven't been the same since grandad died & demanded we bury him at sea. In the boat."

"What did Sir Cumference receive after getting all over the 'D'? Pi(e)"

"what did the biologists call their basketball team? The Hemoglobin-Trotters!"