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Joke of the Day

"Confession: I masturbate. Damn, that felt good."

"What's the definition of a redneck virgin? A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers."

"A moderator is browsing /r/worldnews..."

"Hell hath no fury like a white woman emailing Target after a bad shopping experience."

"What do you call a tooth in a glass? A one molar solution."

"""WHY YES I'D LOVE TO BE A THOUSAND POUNDS"" my brain when i see a box of donuts"

"Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming ""stay away from me!"""

"What do you do when you love a hotel? You Mariott"

"I got kicked out of my Community Theatre group when the female director asked to see me limp. How was I to know she was talking about walking?"

"What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel? I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place."