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Joke of the Day

"Our family summer boat trips haven't been the same since grandad died & demanded we bury him at sea. In the boat."

"But man says to the doctor: Wojak I am the pepe"

"News says there were a ""record number of marijuana seizures"" in 2015. Weird ... after all these decades I've never had a single seizure."

"Why are there no headache tablets in the jungle? Because the Parrots-eat-em-all. Thank you, I'm here all night."

"How does Hitler make his coffee? He jews it."

"What's the difference between children and Isis? Drones can't tell either"

"i have 2000 karma in the sum of all my accounts and yet i feel no one respects my opinions maybe that's because i have 2500 posts"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG"

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."

"[Man in restaurant] I'll have that lobster please. *points to aquarium containing lobster putting finishing touches to his octopus disguise*"