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Joke of the Day

"It's my dream to take a stretch limo to a drive thru, pay at the first window & pick up my food at the second window without moving my car."

"Did you hear about the pirate captain selling cheap corn? It was a buccaneer."

"How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night? Take away their beds..."

"The longest I've been sober is 5 years... ...then I turned six years old"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Chain Smoker Barbie ...with Surgeon General's warning on box"

"My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child.. But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins."

"I wanted my Native American girlfriend to move in with me but she had some reservations."

"We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself."

"If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a ""anything for 5 dollars"" ad on Craigslist with your name and number."

"What did the pig say when his wife left him? ""Don't go bacon my heart"""