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Joke of the Day

"2 sheep are standing on a hill One turns to the other and says ""Baaa!"". The other sheep says ""I was just going to say that""."

"Why was lil' Wayne tired after programming? He did too much coding."

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"I met a one-legged waitress at IHOP... Her name was Ilene."

"""look, if it's no fancy dress then the funeral invite should have specified no fancy dress. And besides, your aunt loved minions"""

"Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away"

"Yo girl, are you my email inbox? because there's a lot of stuff you have I'm never going to see"

"I made a Freudian slip at the dinner table the other night.. I meant to say to my mother-in-law ""Could you please pass the potatoes?"" But instead I said ""You stupid cow, you have ruined my life."""

"When testing, make like a frat boy And bang out the easy ones first"

"What is the difference between a dog thermometer and a human thermometer? the taste"