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Joke of the Day

"I met a one-legged waitress at IHOP... Her name was Ilene."

"Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent."

"My relationship status is like that other missing sock, I'm all alone and eventually end up getting trashed"

"My cousin found his dad's Viagra, took a handful of the pills, and is now in the hospital... ...with third-degree burns on both of his hands."

"Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name? Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar."

"Two forks... Two forks were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? Because forks can't fly. Two cows were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? He got a fork in his eye."

"Beer foam is the opposite of memory foam."

"What's with American's obsession with everything bigger? Bigger cars, bigger houses, higher IQs... If you ask me, Americans have the smallest penises in the world."

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"Why couldn't the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain? It failed the Smaug test."