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Joke of the Day

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"e=mc2 was just Einstein comparing himself to other rappers"

"Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones."

"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me something smells."

"What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future? Psychic-delic."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one...but the light bulb has to WANT to change."

"Your mom is so dumb.... She tried to climb Mountain Dew"

"Why couldn't the banana get a date? It didn't have a peel."

"Guess what God said to Joan Rivers when she just arrived in Heaven? Thank you, Bruce really needed those botox to make his wife and daughters as beautiful as he is"

"I'm having mixed feelings about that garlic diet... So far, I've lost 6 pounds and most of my friends."