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Joke of the Day

"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""

"Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste."

"What is it called when Albert Einstein masturbates? A stroke of genius."

"I was with a girl last night who told me she wanted me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt... so I fucked her twice and hit her with a rock."

"Did you hear about the shop that only employed dwarves? It had to close because it was short staffed."

"At first I didn't really like my haircut... ...but now it's really growing on me."

"What is the difference between the USA and North Korea? One is of them has a great leader!"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it had a silent pee."

"What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?... ....a smile and wave!"

"Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, ""10, 9, 8..."""