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Joke of the Day
"This oatmeal tastes like I'm gonna need a doughnut."
Next Joke
"I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger Then it hit me"
"""but what if I ask someone a question and they answer it"" - me sitting in my house too nervous to go to my neighbors party I was invited to"
"Just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes using vinyl Surely that's some kind of record."
"Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: ""I'm gonna need more carrots."""
"You know why Russia is more productive? They're rushin'"
"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"
"Why was purple jealous? Because red blue green."
"Why was Skrillex never in an orchestra? Because he would always drop the bass"
"I've been hit by a car before, you don't want to go down that road."