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Joke of the Day
"Why was Skrillex never in an orchestra? Because he would always drop the bass"
Next Joke
"If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus."
"Zoo... I went to the zoo and saw a loaf in a cage. A sign read: ""Bread in captivity."""
"I have better things to do with my time than my job."
"What did the horse say to the one-legged jockey? How're ye gettin' on?"
"Sometimes I gaze upwards at the endless stars that populate the sky and realize how small I truly am. I should get one of those pumps."
"What do you call a homeless pigeon? A pigeon."
"A man has started a business in Afghanistan. He's selling landmines that look like prayer mats... Prophets are going through the roof."
"Just because it's Friday the 13th, people seem to think that horrible things are going to happen, like another shitty horror movie being released."
"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"