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Joke of the Day

"Military shouldn't hire people named Will."

"Started my Matrix Algebra class a few months ago... I'm really confused so far. When do we learn about Neo?"

"And yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns? The take everything, literally."

"Nobody believes that my first grade teacher was named Furious Crapjacket."

"Hilary Clinton is elected president ... FTFY"

"I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene... Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity."

"What did the dog say to the man? Nothing stupid, dogs don't talk."

"Who do you call when your wheelchair gets a flat? Cripple A."

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."